Bootstraps, Resilience and Grit

I have always been a “Pull yourself up by the bootstraps” type of girl. I learned the art of failing at a very young age. I was taught failing was just part of life, and it was nothing to be ashamed of. But I was not allowed to sulk. If I was having a bad day - I was encouraged to go cheer up a homebound neighbor. If I failed a test - I was encouraged to ask the teacher how to do better next time. My parents told me I could do anything I set my mind to - but I had to set my mind to it.

I just finished reading the book Mindset by Carol Dweck for the second time. The first time I read the book I wanted to highlight the entire book as it is SO good. This time I was able to really let the book soak in. The book talks about the difference of having a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that their abilities are already determined for them and they are good or bad by if they succeed or fail. Whereas a person with a growth mindset sees life as an opportunity to learn new things, and grow through experience.

The author says, “What allowed me to take that first step, to choose growth and risk rejection? In the fixed mindset, I had needed my blame and bitterness. It made me feel more righteous, powerful, and whole than thinking I was at fault. The growth mindset allowed me to give up the blame and move on.”

I set a goal to write one blog a day during the entire month of October. Today, October 2nd was a beautiful fall day. I worked, enjoyed the weather and watched my son’s football game. Now, it is 11:30pm, and I am finally writing todays post. I could decide not to write one and give you a lot of reasons why I did not get it done. I could write something quickly so I can say, “Check, I got it done” However, this week at work I have learned a lot about resilience. At CASA, we have many resources for child victims of abuse and neglect. But, this week I started asking myself, what can we do to help kids before they become victims? How can we help all kids become resilient? Do we tell kids to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and get over it? Do we teach them to clinch their teeth and push through with grit? Or do we teach them a growth mindset and encourage them to always look for opportunities to learn, and when faced with failure or disappointment, encourage them to seek a mentor to help them look for ways to grow.

Maybe, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps tonight and got this blog post done. Maybe it is grit that made me check this off my to-do list before I went to bed. But one thing I know for sure, the book Mindset by Carol Dweck has made an impact on how I want to approach October …. and I see a lot of growth coming this month.