The Stories
“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories from your life—not someone else’s life—water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.”
I love this quote from the book, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, because I know my stories have been watered with blood, tears, but most importantly laughter! I have always loved to laugh… Ten years ago I even got pulled into my bosses office once because a co-worker thought I laughed too loud and he told me I needed to keep it down. (That still makes me giggle, as I think she was jealous that I was able to make insurance fun!)
Finding laughter in the blood, sweat and tears is something I hope I pass onto my kids. Life is hard, and sometimes it is not easy to find ways to laugh - but I love finding the joy in the hard parts of the story. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I had to have an MRI guided biopsy… and it involved me laying on my stomach in a breast MRI contraption for a LONG time. (Google it… the contraption is crazy). They had to take me in and out of the MRI machine for over 2 hours trying to get the needle in the exact spot they needed to test. I was able to grit through the first 30 minutes… but then I cried out “Holy S#!T this F’ing HURTS” After my temper tantrum, a sweet angel nurse Carolyn came in asked if I wanted to listen to music, and if so, she asked, what type? I said “Yes… Christian Music please” … And then I instantly laughed as I had just sworn like a drunk pirate. After she queued up the Christian music, this sweet angel nurse did something that I will never forget…She stayed with me in the MRI room and rubbed my arms to help me keep my mind off the pain. But the best part, is as soon as they turned on the machine, she squealed with laughter, as she had left her glasses on, and the MRI was trying to make them fly off her head. OH that was the laughter I needed at that exact moment and Carolyn at BryanLGH will always have a VERY special place in my heart for showing love and bringing joy in a really rotten part of the story.
During diagnosis and treatment, my oncologist had to continually ask if I was able to do anything “normal” … but with this, we always had something to laugh at because nothing went according to the normal treatment plan. I was allergic to 3 of the 4 chemo bags - the side effects were terrible… but I was blessed to have a tribe with me every time… and trust me, we were able to laugh through the crazy parts. (Probably too loud most of the time)
After I got done with treatment, I joined a recovery group to try to build some strength back. There were seven of us in the class and when I walked into the class the first day, someone in the class looked at me and asked, “Did you have chemo at NHO on Wednesdays?” - Yes, I did - She smiled and said, “You always had food and so much fun, right?” Well, anyone who has had chemo knows there is NOTHING fun about chemo… but with my family and friends and the amazing medical staff at NHO, we made those 6 hours fun. Sometimes it takes manure to grow the most beautiful flowers and these are the stories I want to share. I hope my stories can help someone find laughter as they hit a hard part in life… and as they need to water their story with blood and tears I want to help them also find the laughter. And, I hope they are never afraid to laugh loud!