I need some Grandma Ruby Slippers

“Marci, Life is going to be hard… but you have to keep the faith” - This statement was the last thing my Grandma Ruby said to me before she died. Grandma was not sick and I did not know that would be the last time I was going to see her… but she was 96, so deep down, we always knew each time spent together, could be our last. There have been so many times when I thought to myself “THIS - is what she was talking about” - Losing Steve’s parents to cancer, food allergies, crazy insurance, my personal journey with cancer… They have all been hard… They ARE all hard…. so when life is hard, I can still feel Grandma’s hand on my arm telling me to keep the faith. I can still smell her house and hear the laughter we always had at her table. And to add to that memory… Nothing in this world compares to the hugs I use to get from Grandpa Walter. Those hugs were so powerful they always made Grandpa’s hearing aid squeal. (ALL of his loved ones can attest to this!)

In August, I joined an amazing Mastermind Group of Women to help me work toward my dream of writing a book and grow as a person. Last weekend, we had our first Virtual Retreat. My friend Hope and I went to my parents trailer at the lake to get away from our “To Do Lists” at home and just absorb the amazing energy and love from the group of women. At the beginning of the retreat our leader, Leah, led us in a visualization where we walked into a garden. The garden could be anywhere - but this exercise took me to Grandma & Grandpa’s backyard. I felt myself sitting at their picnic table. Family - Friends - Strangers - EVERYONE was always welcome at that picnic table.

Grandma & Grandpa never had a lot of money, and they did not have an easy road. (They lived through the Depression, Two World Wars, Vietnam, and had many hardships including losing 2 adult sons and an adult daughter) …. Life was not easy, but they kept the faith, and that faith did not waiver. They did not judge, they did not blame - but they lived in love and spread that love everywhere. Were they perfect… No way… but they were always willing to learn from their mistakes and love us through ours. They were a safe place for anyone who needed one and one of Grandma’s famous sayings was: “There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, it doesn’t behoove any of us to talk about the rest of us” - WOW. (I think I need a tattoo of that.)

The second day of the Mastermind Retreat, I was introduced to the song “Crowded Table” by The Highwomen.

My favorite part of the song is when they sing:

“The door is always open,

Your picture’s on my wall,

Everyone’s a little broken,

And everyone belongs”

Again, as I heard that song, I felt myself sitting at Grandma and Grandpa’s picnic table - and I am determined that I want to create that feeling. So I’ve been asking myself “How can I live like that?” I love having people over - I love food - I love when the boys have their friends over. I love crowded tables. But how do we create this in the day of COVID - I miss people - I miss laughter. The fear of what the world is becoming is consuming my heart. How we all treat each other on social media - and how I treat friends when I’m scared. It’s not good… Fear is not good as I have learned that my fear becomes anger…. and my anger is not pretty.

Today, I woke up down in the dumps. I had a tough week… they happen…. and luckily I’ve had enough weeks like this that I know next week will be better. But today my Saturday morning Bible Study kicked off again and it was perfect timing as I quickly remembered… when I’m not in God’s Word, I’m in fear.

Social Media is Fear

COVID is Fear

Cancer is Fear

But….The Bible says “DO NOT FEAR” over 40 times.

“Life is going to be hard - but don’t lose the faith”… Thanks Grandma Ruby! I won’t….